The Unfortunate Seven

The Cubs are an astonishingly pathetic 2-11 over their last four series, so it should come as no surpise that no one except for a handful of sadists -- myself included -- seems interested in how bad this team is. Being in a negative frame of mind on the topic of my favorite sports franchise, here are my seven least favorite Cubs of the 2000s:

7. Jose "I Wear Orange Oakleys At Night" Hernandez, '03

6. Lenny "Cornrows And Motorcycles" Harris, '03

5. Jose "Quit Asking If I'm The Batboy" Macias, '04-'05

4. Paul "Perpetually Squinting Because My Worthlessness Is Blinding" Bako, '03-'04

3. Neifi "I Run On My Tip-Toes Because I Think I'm A Ballerina" Perez, '04-'06

2. Kent "The Broadcasters Made Me Suck" Mercker, '04

And the single biggest disappointment in Chicago sports history:

1. Todd "It's Tough To See The Ball When You're Wasted On Painkillers" Hundley, '01-'02


Since I'm on the subject, does anyone have a copy of my "Dear Paul Bako" letter from 2004? That thing was a WIS post before there ever was such a thing!