Personal Statement for the Downtrodden

People think I suck. And, really, I really do. And it's not that I just thought this up. People tell me that I suck all the time. I'm just the worst, and it's not like I don't know it. I'm the ultimate taker. In fact, I suck so bad that I often physically abuse myself, which just makes me suck that much more.

It's so bad that I can't even look in a mirror, because that guy sucks that bad. Once in a while, I compile lists about how and why I suck. I'll write notes to myself regarding how I might improve the lackluster points of my personality. However, since I suck, I more often than not forget my own suggestions to myself, on account of how bad I am at performing even the rudimentary tasks involved in livng.

Like I said, I suck.

[I don't feel this way, for the record. Just an easy theme for when I'm bombed. Carry on.]