It Probably Went Something Like This

D.J.: "Alex?"

A.R.: "Yes?"

D.J.: "Yo, it's Jeter."

A.R.: "Hey, what up man?"

D.J.: "Listen, what's this crap I hear about you playing for the D.R. in the World Baseball Classic?"

A.R.: "Oh, that. Well, you know, my parents are from there, and I spent some time there when I was younger..."

D.J.: "Bro, didn't you grow up in Miami?"

A.R.: "Yeah, but Piazza's playing for Italy, and Nomar's playing for Mexico, so I just thought..."

D.J.: "Woah, woah, hold it. Let's be perfectly clear about this: If you choose to play for the Dominicans, I am going to kick your ass in kangaroo court all summer long. You feel me?"

[Pause.]

A.R.: "Well, now that you mention it, I guess it is kind of a stupid idea. I'll have my agent call Buck Martinez as soon as possible."

D.J.: "Atta boy, A-Rod. Hey, let's hit up The Mansion one night before we head up to Spring Training."

A.R.: "Cool. Call me."

D.J.: "Late."