Euripidean Waiting Room
Open to a black stage. A light layer of smoke swirls around on the floor. A circular bright white light slowly illuminates the center of the stage, revealing a mostly bare stage and a small gathering of people.
A man in his early 20s with light brown hair sits on a couch stage right. His arms are folded across his chest, and he wears a blue shirt, yellow tie, and khaki pants. He has a worried yet kind look on his face. He is Richard. He looks up from the floor and squints into the distance. He gets up and walks forward a few steps and begins tapping on a glass surface.
RICHARD: OK. Here goes. [taps] Hello? [taps] Hello? Is anybody there? This is strange. [pauses] I don't know what to tell you, guys. He's not around. Sucks for you.
Richard turns around and spreads out on the couch, relaxing.
A man in his mid 30s stands stage left. He is well-built with messy dark hair and a pale complexion, wearing a t-shirt, jeans, and cowboy boots, all black. He faces stage right and leans his back against a street sign. He is Marcus. He flicks a cigarette into the distance and exhales hastily.
MARCUS: Sometimes I feel like he doesn't even remember we're in here.
RICHARD: Nah, I don't think it's that. It's like he's distracted by something.
A ravishing woman in her late 20s with perfectly styled dark hair, a green blouse, and black pants stands at the back of stage right. She is Gianna. She leans against a white doorframe. She taps her foot impatiently.
GIANNA: I don't want to sound like a bitch or anything, but frankly, I could care less what's going on with him. All I know is I've been standing in Carla's doorway for almost two months now, and I'm sick of staring at this fat old cow.
RICHARD: At least you know where you stand. He's had me running all over the place lately, like he's constantly changing the channel on a television. I could be anywhere at any second, just like that. Beginning, end, middle, with no warning whatsoever. I found out that I don't die six weeks ago, so now my past is completely different than what I thought it'd be. I'm tired of the change.
MARCUS: Aw, poor baby. I bet he hasn't thought of me in months. We were all good for a while right when he came up with me, but then he just dropped me out of nowhere. [pauses] Sorry if I'm getting you guys down. Usually I'm the life of the party. Lately, though, I've been so starved for attention, I just want to scream.
GIANNA: Oh, it's okay honey. You've got a lot of potential; I'm sure he'll come back to you.
A slender man in his mid 50s with sandy blonde sits at a plain white desk in a plain black chair at stage left. He wears a navy suit, pink shirt, and green and purple striped tie. He carries himself with a great deal of leadership and presence. He is Marshall. He rises from the chair and takes a couple steps toward Gianna.
MARSHALL: It's probably not my place to say anything, but for what it's worth, if it can help you out at all [pauses] the fact of the matter is, I've resumed being the mystery man of the story. He figured out my one really big speaking scene a while back and then [snaps fingers] away I went, back lurking around in the shadows of the waiting room. But that's mostly what I do in the story, so from a certain point of view, I suppose the waiting is actually fulfilling my ultimate purpose. Look at it this way: We're all doing exactly what he wants us to do for now. We should take satisfaction from that and be happy that we exist in the first place. Again, for what it's worth.
The group murmurs and nods in tepid agreement. Marshall sits back down at the desk and leans back in the chair, with his hands folded behind his head, and stares into the distace. The others likewise glance around at each other, bored. A moment passes in silence.
GIANNA: Rich, will you check again to see if he's there, please? I want to move but I feel like I'm stuck.
Richard walks forward and again knocks on the glass. He shakes his head and walks back over to the others. Marcus gives the post a shake, but it does not move. Marshall recrosses his legs and continues to sit silently. Gianna takes a pen she was holding behind her ear and fidgets with it. Another moment passes in silence.
A small pretty girl with a blonde ponytail quietly enters the circle of light stage right. She wears white pajama pants and an oversized blue hooded sweatshirt. She is Julie. Marcus pushes himself by the shoulders away from the sign and straightens up.
MARCUS: Yo! Check it out!
MARSHALL: And who might you be?
JULIE: Hi, I'm Julie. [somewhat sheepish] I'm the reason he's been ignoring you guys lately.
MARCUS: You're the reason? We've been here for over a year, and your name never came up once. God, why can't he focus on one thing at a time?
JULIE [hesitates]: Well, he came up with the idea for me a while ago, but then he forgot about me for a long, long time. He does that a lot. It's not intentional, he just needs to walk away to digest his thoughts every once in a while.
RICHARD: This guy...I love him, but he can be annoying sometimes. He's got the attention span of a fruit fly.
Julie pauses for a moment and looks at each of them individually. She grins broadly and pulls the sweatshirt more tightly around herself.
JULIE: Oh, don't worry about it. Getting blown off used to really piss me off, but I know it's not personal. That's just the way it is. Think of it this way: He has to get to know each of you to a totally completely insane degree, better than even you know yourself, and that can take a really long time. Sometimes he needs to read and listen to people before he can know what you will be like. If he rushes, you will not be who you should be, and then you'd be something else, something incomplete or unbelievable, and then he's definitely never going to let you go. Does that make sense?
The crowd issues a few murmurs of general recognition.
JULIE: Ok, take me for example. I thought I was dead for a while, but then I realized that that wasn't it. I realized that the story was a difficult one for him to cope with because he's creating his own alter-ego opposite me, and that can be a tricky thing to do without mimicking your actual personality. And the way that his alter-ego directly effects me, it is in a sense my story but I'm actually a secondary concern for him at this point. I know there is a beginning and an end to what I'm going to be, but I don't know exactly what's going to happen along the way. That will change constantly until he decides he's done changing it. Be patient with him, that's about all I can say. [pauses] Like I said, that's just what I think.
GIANNA: Oooh, a philosopher!
MARCUS: Wow! I never looked at it that way. So in a sense we're all getting better all the time?
JULIE: I hope so, otherwise it's all this waiting for nothing.
RICHARD: Wait, so are you somebody? Like, to us, I mean?
JULIE: I'm not sure if I am somebody, but I know for certain that I won't know any of you when I become who I am.
GIANNA [cheerfully sneering]: Think there's any chance we won't have to know the Jackals?
Three men in their early 30s enter stage left. One is tall and skinny with shaggy red hair, one is an African-American with a medium build, and one is short and stocky with close-cropped black hair. They are wearing dark suits, white shirts, and colorful ties. They are Russ, Mac, and Scoot.
RUSS: The Jackals? Please, G, this place is my only refuge from those two sadists. What's shakin' guys?
Russ, Mac, and Scoot exchange greetings with the others. They introduce themselves in turn to Julie. Russ walks over to Marcus and bums a cigarette, then walks over to Marshall's desk. Scoot and Mac turn to Rich. Scoot rolls back and forth on the balls of his feet with his hands casually resting in his pockets. Mac slowly rubs his hands together in front of him and smiles broadly.
MAC: Hey Number Twenty-Two, have we got a surprise for you.
RICHARD: Oh yeah? What?
MAC: Well, actually, it's more like two surprises in one.
RICHARD: Bring it on already.
MAC: First, we're going on a roadtrip.
Richard groans.
MAC: What? We thought you'd be psyched to get out of town!
RICHARD: Sorry, I've been running around all over the place lately. Actually, I might be the only one who sort of likes it in here. I'll go, though, I love the road.
SCOOT: Well, this isn't idle fooling around, my friend. This is a meeting with our favorite director, the one, the only --
SCOOT and MAC [in unison]: Juan Guadalupe de Sanchez-San Filipo!
RICHARD: Yes! That insane genius is back in the picture?
RUSS: God, that sounds great. I haven't seen him like three years. Any chance I might come along?
SCOOT: I'm afraid he's got other ideas in store for you Russell, and from what I've heard you're not going to like them, at least not at first. So sorry, buddy. However, Rich, there is a touch of bad news --
MAC: The meeting's in Detroit --
Richard winces.
MARSHALL: Ah, the much anticipated Detroit trip.
MAC: The good news though --
SCOOT: We're staying at the Casino Windsor on the AZ dime.
Scoot glances at Marshall and quickly looks away.
RICHARD: Whatever, it'll be nice to get away from limbo for a few days, I guess. Think we'll be staying there very long?
MAC: You never can tell with this guy. It could be a few hours, it could be a couple of weeks. There's no way to be sure.
SCOOT: We'll find out soon enough. I think you should start calling me the Road Warrior. I call, I'm driving the whole way.
Gianna begins to jump up and down as though she is pouting.
GIANNA: Oh you guys, this is so fucking not fair! Will you please hurry back so he can get me out of this stupid doorway!
MAC: Sorry, honey. This week is all about the Detroit Rock City crew and, I'm guessing, a few hours for that little lady over there --
JULIE: Actually, the way we left it, he said he'd get back to me at some point. Something about finding the old story, and a long-forgotten floppy disk or CD or something. So see you when you get back.
Mac, Scoot, and Richard say goodbye and exit stage left. Marshall and Russell exchange a glance. Marshall then looks away and stares up. Russell lights a cigarette, walks over to and begins to chat quietly with Gianna who takes a drag on his cigarette. Julie turns to Marcus.
JULIE: You know, it's the strangest thing. I've spent the last few years on the sidelines, but I can't remember what I did to pass all that time.
Marcus walks over to Julie and puts his arm around her shoulder. She looks at him cautiously as he approaches but relaxes once he is close. He puts an arm around her shoulders and guides her over to the couch.
MARCUS: Don't worry about a thing, little gal, we'll figure it out. Hey, have you ever seen New York Fashion Week?
The light slowly fades out and the stage returns to black.
A man in his early 20s with light brown hair sits on a couch stage right. His arms are folded across his chest, and he wears a blue shirt, yellow tie, and khaki pants. He has a worried yet kind look on his face. He is Richard. He looks up from the floor and squints into the distance. He gets up and walks forward a few steps and begins tapping on a glass surface.
RICHARD: OK. Here goes. [taps] Hello? [taps] Hello? Is anybody there? This is strange. [pauses] I don't know what to tell you, guys. He's not around. Sucks for you.
Richard turns around and spreads out on the couch, relaxing.
A man in his mid 30s stands stage left. He is well-built with messy dark hair and a pale complexion, wearing a t-shirt, jeans, and cowboy boots, all black. He faces stage right and leans his back against a street sign. He is Marcus. He flicks a cigarette into the distance and exhales hastily.
MARCUS: Sometimes I feel like he doesn't even remember we're in here.
RICHARD: Nah, I don't think it's that. It's like he's distracted by something.
A ravishing woman in her late 20s with perfectly styled dark hair, a green blouse, and black pants stands at the back of stage right. She is Gianna. She leans against a white doorframe. She taps her foot impatiently.
GIANNA: I don't want to sound like a bitch or anything, but frankly, I could care less what's going on with him. All I know is I've been standing in Carla's doorway for almost two months now, and I'm sick of staring at this fat old cow.
RICHARD: At least you know where you stand. He's had me running all over the place lately, like he's constantly changing the channel on a television. I could be anywhere at any second, just like that. Beginning, end, middle, with no warning whatsoever. I found out that I don't die six weeks ago, so now my past is completely different than what I thought it'd be. I'm tired of the change.
MARCUS: Aw, poor baby. I bet he hasn't thought of me in months. We were all good for a while right when he came up with me, but then he just dropped me out of nowhere. [pauses] Sorry if I'm getting you guys down. Usually I'm the life of the party. Lately, though, I've been so starved for attention, I just want to scream.
GIANNA: Oh, it's okay honey. You've got a lot of potential; I'm sure he'll come back to you.
A slender man in his mid 50s with sandy blonde sits at a plain white desk in a plain black chair at stage left. He wears a navy suit, pink shirt, and green and purple striped tie. He carries himself with a great deal of leadership and presence. He is Marshall. He rises from the chair and takes a couple steps toward Gianna.
MARSHALL: It's probably not my place to say anything, but for what it's worth, if it can help you out at all [pauses] the fact of the matter is, I've resumed being the mystery man of the story. He figured out my one really big speaking scene a while back and then [snaps fingers] away I went, back lurking around in the shadows of the waiting room. But that's mostly what I do in the story, so from a certain point of view, I suppose the waiting is actually fulfilling my ultimate purpose. Look at it this way: We're all doing exactly what he wants us to do for now. We should take satisfaction from that and be happy that we exist in the first place. Again, for what it's worth.
The group murmurs and nods in tepid agreement. Marshall sits back down at the desk and leans back in the chair, with his hands folded behind his head, and stares into the distace. The others likewise glance around at each other, bored. A moment passes in silence.
GIANNA: Rich, will you check again to see if he's there, please? I want to move but I feel like I'm stuck.
Richard walks forward and again knocks on the glass. He shakes his head and walks back over to the others. Marcus gives the post a shake, but it does not move. Marshall recrosses his legs and continues to sit silently. Gianna takes a pen she was holding behind her ear and fidgets with it. Another moment passes in silence.
A small pretty girl with a blonde ponytail quietly enters the circle of light stage right. She wears white pajama pants and an oversized blue hooded sweatshirt. She is Julie. Marcus pushes himself by the shoulders away from the sign and straightens up.
MARCUS: Yo! Check it out!
MARSHALL: And who might you be?
JULIE: Hi, I'm Julie. [somewhat sheepish] I'm the reason he's been ignoring you guys lately.
MARCUS: You're the reason? We've been here for over a year, and your name never came up once. God, why can't he focus on one thing at a time?
JULIE [hesitates]: Well, he came up with the idea for me a while ago, but then he forgot about me for a long, long time. He does that a lot. It's not intentional, he just needs to walk away to digest his thoughts every once in a while.
RICHARD: This guy...I love him, but he can be annoying sometimes. He's got the attention span of a fruit fly.
Julie pauses for a moment and looks at each of them individually. She grins broadly and pulls the sweatshirt more tightly around herself.
JULIE: Oh, don't worry about it. Getting blown off used to really piss me off, but I know it's not personal. That's just the way it is. Think of it this way: He has to get to know each of you to a totally completely insane degree, better than even you know yourself, and that can take a really long time. Sometimes he needs to read and listen to people before he can know what you will be like. If he rushes, you will not be who you should be, and then you'd be something else, something incomplete or unbelievable, and then he's definitely never going to let you go. Does that make sense?
The crowd issues a few murmurs of general recognition.
JULIE: Ok, take me for example. I thought I was dead for a while, but then I realized that that wasn't it. I realized that the story was a difficult one for him to cope with because he's creating his own alter-ego opposite me, and that can be a tricky thing to do without mimicking your actual personality. And the way that his alter-ego directly effects me, it is in a sense my story but I'm actually a secondary concern for him at this point. I know there is a beginning and an end to what I'm going to be, but I don't know exactly what's going to happen along the way. That will change constantly until he decides he's done changing it. Be patient with him, that's about all I can say. [pauses] Like I said, that's just what I think.
GIANNA: Oooh, a philosopher!
MARCUS: Wow! I never looked at it that way. So in a sense we're all getting better all the time?
JULIE: I hope so, otherwise it's all this waiting for nothing.
RICHARD: Wait, so are you somebody? Like, to us, I mean?
JULIE: I'm not sure if I am somebody, but I know for certain that I won't know any of you when I become who I am.
GIANNA [cheerfully sneering]: Think there's any chance we won't have to know the Jackals?
Three men in their early 30s enter stage left. One is tall and skinny with shaggy red hair, one is an African-American with a medium build, and one is short and stocky with close-cropped black hair. They are wearing dark suits, white shirts, and colorful ties. They are Russ, Mac, and Scoot.
RUSS: The Jackals? Please, G, this place is my only refuge from those two sadists. What's shakin' guys?
Russ, Mac, and Scoot exchange greetings with the others. They introduce themselves in turn to Julie. Russ walks over to Marcus and bums a cigarette, then walks over to Marshall's desk. Scoot and Mac turn to Rich. Scoot rolls back and forth on the balls of his feet with his hands casually resting in his pockets. Mac slowly rubs his hands together in front of him and smiles broadly.
MAC: Hey Number Twenty-Two, have we got a surprise for you.
RICHARD: Oh yeah? What?
MAC: Well, actually, it's more like two surprises in one.
RICHARD: Bring it on already.
MAC: First, we're going on a roadtrip.
Richard groans.
MAC: What? We thought you'd be psyched to get out of town!
RICHARD: Sorry, I've been running around all over the place lately. Actually, I might be the only one who sort of likes it in here. I'll go, though, I love the road.
SCOOT: Well, this isn't idle fooling around, my friend. This is a meeting with our favorite director, the one, the only --
SCOOT and MAC [in unison]: Juan Guadalupe de Sanchez-San Filipo!
RICHARD: Yes! That insane genius is back in the picture?
RUSS: God, that sounds great. I haven't seen him like three years. Any chance I might come along?
SCOOT: I'm afraid he's got other ideas in store for you Russell, and from what I've heard you're not going to like them, at least not at first. So sorry, buddy. However, Rich, there is a touch of bad news --
MAC: The meeting's in Detroit --
Richard winces.
MARSHALL: Ah, the much anticipated Detroit trip.
MAC: The good news though --
SCOOT: We're staying at the Casino Windsor on the AZ dime.
Scoot glances at Marshall and quickly looks away.
RICHARD: Whatever, it'll be nice to get away from limbo for a few days, I guess. Think we'll be staying there very long?
MAC: You never can tell with this guy. It could be a few hours, it could be a couple of weeks. There's no way to be sure.
SCOOT: We'll find out soon enough. I think you should start calling me the Road Warrior. I call, I'm driving the whole way.
Gianna begins to jump up and down as though she is pouting.
GIANNA: Oh you guys, this is so fucking not fair! Will you please hurry back so he can get me out of this stupid doorway!
MAC: Sorry, honey. This week is all about the Detroit Rock City crew and, I'm guessing, a few hours for that little lady over there --
JULIE: Actually, the way we left it, he said he'd get back to me at some point. Something about finding the old story, and a long-forgotten floppy disk or CD or something. So see you when you get back.
Mac, Scoot, and Richard say goodbye and exit stage left. Marshall and Russell exchange a glance. Marshall then looks away and stares up. Russell lights a cigarette, walks over to and begins to chat quietly with Gianna who takes a drag on his cigarette. Julie turns to Marcus.
JULIE: You know, it's the strangest thing. I've spent the last few years on the sidelines, but I can't remember what I did to pass all that time.
Marcus walks over to Julie and puts his arm around her shoulder. She looks at him cautiously as he approaches but relaxes once he is close. He puts an arm around her shoulders and guides her over to the couch.
MARCUS: Don't worry about a thing, little gal, we'll figure it out. Hey, have you ever seen New York Fashion Week?
The light slowly fades out and the stage returns to black.
posted by Pat at 12:01 AM
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