"PNPC," or "Pat's New Patriotic Crusade"
I'm a big fan of the acronym. I have hundreds of them, for everything: friends, locales, activities, everything.
I passed the time during my daily trip to and from Wisco this summer by making up phrases for the letters I saw on license plates. (When 3 hours in a car every day starts to drive you slightly batty, this ritual begins to seem normal.) For example, I once passed a really old guy who was hogging up the left lane on the tollway. His license plate was "ASD 943." So as I flew past him, I rolled down the window and yelled, "Hey, Ancient Slow Dick 943! When are you gonna pull your head out of your ass?!" He didn't hear me, but I gave myself a great big "Aw snap!" anyway. I can't remember any other license plate acronyms at the moment, but some of them were pretty funny.
Though I am a big fan of acronyms in general, "RSVP" annoys the living hell out of me. I can never remember whether the "R" stands for reservations, regards, regrets, or what. What's wrong with, "Please let us know if you plan on attending?" Doesn't that get the job done? So it takes two or three seconds more to type or write out a direct question. If you've already taken the time to plan a gathering worthy of an invitation, you ought to be more concerned with directness than with saving a couple of seconds.
All right, I can see how for a wedding invitation or something important, you might want to go with "RSVP," because French phrases lend a formal air to things. Why, then, do people use this phrase for strictly casual gatherings? For example, I got an email today about a Villanova alumni party for Saturday's game against Oklahoma. Why the hell did that warrant an "RSVP?" Everybody knows it's just drinking beer, eating buffalo wings, and watching a basketball game at a bar. Why associate any trace of formality with that? He could have just said, "Let me know if you're stopping by," or "Let me know if you can't come," and everybody would be on the same page.
Another thing: I get annoyed when people write, "Please RSVP" or "RSVP Please," because they expressed the "please" portion twice. "Please let us know if you're coming to the party please," or "Let us know if you're not coming to the party please please," or whatever the hell "RSVP" means. I''m not saying that this gaffe makes them ignorant or worthless; the fault lies with one of today's dumbest social customs. "RSVP" can kiss my ass.
After nearly 230 years, I think that we're old enough as a country to have a party response phrase of our own invention, particularly for casual events. Accordingly, I encourage you to email your members of Congress and ask them to adopt a measure designating the national party response phrase for casual happenings as: "AYC," or "Are You Coming." With all this division over the Iraq War, and thousands of Christmas party invites being prepared, "AYC" could become this year's number one, easily supportable, wholly unimportant something that rallies the entire country around a non-issue.
Best of all, if the "AYC" crusade proves successful, it will have the residual effect of really pissing off the French, and nothing brings people together quite like pissing off the French, especially when it comes to severely inane things. The party response phrase is primarily a cultural phenomenon, and we're all aware of the fact that the French--in spite of their crumbled empire and faded influence over global politics--still feel as though they are the final word on all things cultural. So, some French culture minister will appear on Fox News to defend "RSVP" as the superlative party response phrase, and Bill O'Reilly will put an end to the Frenchman's moaning with a smug, "Go piss out a bus fire, you frog fuck." Then, President Bush will lead us in setting off a bunch of fireworks, we'll all get really loaded, and it'll be awesome.
Believe it or not, this post started out life as a two-line "Random Thought of the Day" entry.
And for your information: Yeah, I am wrapped in an American flag right now--Madonna-style.
I passed the time during my daily trip to and from Wisco this summer by making up phrases for the letters I saw on license plates. (When 3 hours in a car every day starts to drive you slightly batty, this ritual begins to seem normal.) For example, I once passed a really old guy who was hogging up the left lane on the tollway. His license plate was "ASD 943." So as I flew past him, I rolled down the window and yelled, "Hey, Ancient Slow Dick 943! When are you gonna pull your head out of your ass?!" He didn't hear me, but I gave myself a great big "Aw snap!" anyway. I can't remember any other license plate acronyms at the moment, but some of them were pretty funny.
Though I am a big fan of acronyms in general, "RSVP" annoys the living hell out of me. I can never remember whether the "R" stands for reservations, regards, regrets, or what. What's wrong with, "Please let us know if you plan on attending?" Doesn't that get the job done? So it takes two or three seconds more to type or write out a direct question. If you've already taken the time to plan a gathering worthy of an invitation, you ought to be more concerned with directness than with saving a couple of seconds.
All right, I can see how for a wedding invitation or something important, you might want to go with "RSVP," because French phrases lend a formal air to things. Why, then, do people use this phrase for strictly casual gatherings? For example, I got an email today about a Villanova alumni party for Saturday's game against Oklahoma. Why the hell did that warrant an "RSVP?" Everybody knows it's just drinking beer, eating buffalo wings, and watching a basketball game at a bar. Why associate any trace of formality with that? He could have just said, "Let me know if you're stopping by," or "Let me know if you can't come," and everybody would be on the same page.
Another thing: I get annoyed when people write, "Please RSVP" or "RSVP Please," because they expressed the "please" portion twice. "Please let us know if you're coming to the party please," or "Let us know if you're not coming to the party please please," or whatever the hell "RSVP" means. I''m not saying that this gaffe makes them ignorant or worthless; the fault lies with one of today's dumbest social customs. "RSVP" can kiss my ass.
After nearly 230 years, I think that we're old enough as a country to have a party response phrase of our own invention, particularly for casual events. Accordingly, I encourage you to email your members of Congress and ask them to adopt a measure designating the national party response phrase for casual happenings as: "AYC," or "Are You Coming." With all this division over the Iraq War, and thousands of Christmas party invites being prepared, "AYC" could become this year's number one, easily supportable, wholly unimportant something that rallies the entire country around a non-issue.
Best of all, if the "AYC" crusade proves successful, it will have the residual effect of really pissing off the French, and nothing brings people together quite like pissing off the French, especially when it comes to severely inane things. The party response phrase is primarily a cultural phenomenon, and we're all aware of the fact that the French--in spite of their crumbled empire and faded influence over global politics--still feel as though they are the final word on all things cultural. So, some French culture minister will appear on Fox News to defend "RSVP" as the superlative party response phrase, and Bill O'Reilly will put an end to the Frenchman's moaning with a smug, "Go piss out a bus fire, you frog fuck." Then, President Bush will lead us in setting off a bunch of fireworks, we'll all get really loaded, and it'll be awesome.
Believe it or not, this post started out life as a two-line "Random Thought of the Day" entry.
And for your information: Yeah, I am wrapped in an American flag right now--Madonna-style.
posted by Pat at 9:41 PM
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