Conversation Of The Weekend

Alan, sitting down on a stool: "Man, I played like shit today."

Me: "That sucks."

Alan: "Yeah. I got a lot on my mind. My daughter is sick."

Me: "Really? What's wrong?"

Alan: "She's got a heart arrhythmia. My wife is at the hospital with her right now."

Me: "Al, let me ask you something."

Alan: "Yeah?"

Me: "If your daughter is in the hospital right now, what are you doing at the golf course?"

Al, dumbfounded: "I told my wife I was going to play, and she didn't say anything."

Me: "Maybe she didn't say anything because she's thinking, 'I'm going to divorce this guy if he leaves right now to go play golf.'"

Al: "Yeah, maybe. But she knows I need to play golf."

Need to play golf. Like it's eating or breathing. Need to play golf. Need to play golf. Ridiculous.