Random Thought Of The Day

I really wish that, just for once, a cab driver would tell me, "No, that's actually not a good tip for a $6.65 ride. Let me give you ten dollars back and let's call it even." It would save me the effort of having to utter, "I need those extra two bucks for pizza," or some other useless drivel, issued only to settle the conscience attached to and part of my savagely curt, borderline passed out, battling hallucinations, reeking like Grey Goose and smoke, not-needing-the-extra-dollar-nearly-as-much-as-this-broke-immigrant-living-with-six-kids-and-his-old-lady-in-a-one-bedroom-in-east-rogers-park, combatively sarcastic, insanely imbibed, and effective-with-words-like-a-hot-knife-through-butter muthafarkin' a-hole of a dysfunctional personality.

Hoo-ah!