Conversation of the Month
Mom stands at a kitchen island pouring pasta onto a serving platter. Pat hovers nearby, trying to stay out of the way.
Mom: "The Abt guy was out today."
Pat: "Oh really? What'd he say?"
Dad enters the kitchen and sits down at the table.
Dad: "It's $600 to have the advanced technician come out and reprogram it."
Me: "600 bucks?! What?!"
Mom walks over to the table, puts the pasta down, and sits.
Mom: "It's completely messed up. Grandpa started hitting buttons, and he doesn't remember what he did."
Pat walks over to the table and pours a Diet Coke into a glass of ice.
Pat: "Okay, why the hell did you leave grandpa with the remote anyway? Just turn on Fox News, turn the volume up all the way, and hide the remote. I haven't seen him change the channel in five years."
Dad begins putting pasta onto three plates.
Dad: "It happened so fast. We were watching the Bears game. I went out to the garage at halftime to smoke a cigar, and about five seconds later your mother came outside and said, 'Grandpa broke the f'ing television.' Who knows what he did? Eighty-nine year olds and technology are not a good mix."
Pat: "Unreal. [beat] So are you gonna cough up, or why don't you just make him pay for it? He won't care."
Dad: "Well, it works but exactly not like it used to."
Mom, covering her face: "I'm never gonna figure out how to work it."
Me: "I thought the guy was here? If he can't fix it completely, what did he do to make it work a little bit?"
Dad: "Well, you've got to hit the power button and point it at the t.v., and then you point the remote down and hit a different button on the side, then you point it back at the t.v. and hit the power button again, and then it turns on."
Me: "You're kidding me, right?"
Dad: "Unfortunately, no."
Me: "No, I mean, You're kidding that you're not going to pay $600 to fix your $10,000 entertainment system operate like a $10,000 entertainment system?"
Dad, squiriming: "600 bucks is a lot of money."
Me: "Dad, be serious here. The outfit you just changed into for lounging after work is worth more than that."
Dad: "Yeah, but at least Grandpa can't break my clothes."
Mom, laughing through a bite of bread: "Yeah, but ya never know!"
Mom: "The Abt guy was out today."
Pat: "Oh really? What'd he say?"
Dad enters the kitchen and sits down at the table.
Dad: "It's $600 to have the advanced technician come out and reprogram it."
Me: "600 bucks?! What?!"
Mom walks over to the table, puts the pasta down, and sits.
Mom: "It's completely messed up. Grandpa started hitting buttons, and he doesn't remember what he did."
Pat walks over to the table and pours a Diet Coke into a glass of ice.
Pat: "Okay, why the hell did you leave grandpa with the remote anyway? Just turn on Fox News, turn the volume up all the way, and hide the remote. I haven't seen him change the channel in five years."
Dad begins putting pasta onto three plates.
Dad: "It happened so fast. We were watching the Bears game. I went out to the garage at halftime to smoke a cigar, and about five seconds later your mother came outside and said, 'Grandpa broke the f'ing television.' Who knows what he did? Eighty-nine year olds and technology are not a good mix."
Pat: "Unreal. [beat] So are you gonna cough up, or why don't you just make him pay for it? He won't care."
Dad: "Well, it works but exactly not like it used to."
Mom, covering her face: "I'm never gonna figure out how to work it."
Me: "I thought the guy was here? If he can't fix it completely, what did he do to make it work a little bit?"
Dad: "Well, you've got to hit the power button and point it at the t.v., and then you point the remote down and hit a different button on the side, then you point it back at the t.v. and hit the power button again, and then it turns on."
Me: "You're kidding me, right?"
Dad: "Unfortunately, no."
Me: "No, I mean, You're kidding that you're not going to pay $600 to fix your $10,000 entertainment system operate like a $10,000 entertainment system?"
Dad, squiriming: "600 bucks is a lot of money."
Me: "Dad, be serious here. The outfit you just changed into for lounging after work is worth more than that."
Dad: "Yeah, but at least Grandpa can't break my clothes."
Mom, laughing through a bite of bread: "Yeah, but ya never know!"
posted by Pat at 9:51 PM
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