Sincerely, No One In Particular

Thank you for making a payment with Chace Online! Your payment will hopefully be posted.

Did you know that, using your unsecure Chace Online user name and password, you can:

- Incorrectly check a tiny box and incur a massive torrent of small fines?

- Misread a drop-down menu and endure an unnerving delay in transferring funds?

- Have your automatic bill payment information erased when we make our next acquisition?

- Order colorful pamphlets that hypothetically show you how to steal back your identity?

- Read 6 years of statements to review the times we've made you scream out in frustration?

Should you have any questions and wish to speak to a professional, please call (888) GO-CHACE and ask for John Washington, Carolina Rodriguez, Lindsey Clarke, or any other combination of everyday names of your choosing. Since our operators are rapidly answering calls without any knowledge of what you're talking about, we'll eventually steer you to any other random voice that becomes available, so you can curse and hang up as anonymously as possible.

Chace. Where You'll Never Be Bothered With A Follow-Up Call. (R)


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